What She Required
by ToldInTechnicolour
Summary: Hannah Abbott remembers her first love. She still finds it hard to move on, Draco Malfoy was good for her.


**This is for three challenges:  
'The Autocomplete Me Challenge' with the prompts of 'Hannah Abbott/Draco Malfoy, "Do you love me?" and "I don't understand the question and I'm not going to give you an answer.".**

"**iPod on Shuffle Challenge" with the song 'Happy Ending' by Mika (love!).**

"**Rare Pairing Challenge" because, hey, it's pretty rare!**

**Anyway, I hope this is alright, I think it's kind of weird but I like it! Definitely the longest one shot that I've written, please, please review for me?

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- _This is the hardest story that I've ever told  
No hope, no love, no glory,  
Happy Endings gone forever more  
-_Mika 'Happy Ending'

I remember the time that we first met. I'm talking about when we properly met of course, not in some sort of class in the first year. We met properly in sixth. It'll always be in my mind, that day. Always.

_Everything was getting too much for Hannah Abbott. Her Hufflepuff loyalties to Hogwarts were being tested and sometimes she just wanted to run away from her whole life. Away from the threat of Voldemort and away from the friends who weren't taking it as seriously as they should be. Everyone had seen the news about tortures and killings, it was infuriating her when people insisted they would be safe because they had Dumbledore. Without the DA, Hannah thought, she might go truly mad. Mad enough to be sent to Madam Pomfrey for, at least. _

_ Thinking of the DA had given her an idea. She needed to be alone and where could be better than the Room of Requirement? She told Justin that she was feeling faint and skipped Charms. Lying wasn't easy for the Hufflepuff, especially because Justin was one of her closest friends. Hannah swallowed back the guilt and made her way up the staircase. 'I just need somewhere to be alone,' she repeated three times, pacing anxiously. She was getting desperate to be secluded from the rest of the school now. After what felt like an age, the familiar door appeared in the brickwork._

_ Stepping into the room, Hannah felt that it had once again outdone itself. She admired the calming details and the trickling fountain in the corner. It was as if the room knew that she was stressed. Hannah began to relax into a bean bag and smiled fondly as the sight of a Flutterby bush. She loved Herbology and, although she admired the more interesting plants, the pretty Flutterby would always be her favourite. She closed her eyes and allowed the worries to wash away from her in this sanctuary – she hadn't realised how tense she'd been._

_ Hannah didn't know how long she'd had her eyes closed when the door crashed open and a sound of sobs permeated the silence. Her eyelids sprang open as if an electric current had flashed through them. To her intense astonishment, Draco Malfoy had slid down the wall right next to the door and had buried his head in his knees, continuing to sob. It was evident that he was unaware of her presence. What should she do? She'd have to let him know she was there before it would be too awkward to tell him that she'd been sat in stunned silence for a long time._

_ Hannah coughed, she'd always been intimidated by the snarky blonde from Slytherin. He was, she admitted, not unattractive, but Hufflepuff's loyalty and Slytherin's self-centred dedication didn't gel very well. She thought him far too selfish to consider worth fancying. That she could deal with...but crying? That meant he could have a heart somewhere._

_ Draco froze and managed to get his breathing under control again. After a long pause, he looked up blinking the tears out of his eyes. He breathed her name in confusion, a wrinkle of consternation appearing between his white-blonde 'brows. Hannah was ashamed that she was too tense to speak and only nodded in reply, noting that something really must be wrong with him to use her first name._

_ "What are you doing in here, Abbott?" he asked and suddenly his face looked like it was carved from stone. _

_ "I needed to be on my own," she replied, feeling braver now she knew that his toughness wasn't naturally him and that it could slip._

_ "Well you didn't manage that very well, did you?" he sniped, feeling on edge, he was surprised to see her in there and didn't take kindly to anyone seeing him so vulnerable. "Didn't think to lock people out?"._

_ Hannah really hadn't thought to stop people getting in, she'd been too busy getting away from everyone to think of that. "Didn't think many people knew about this place," she told Draco._

_ "How do** you **know about it, Hannah?". Damn, his curiosity was making him clumsy. But then, she'd seen him cry. Maybe he should keep her friendly. Didn't need the whole school to know. She was a Hufflepuff and loyalty in friendship would be a better manipulation to keep her silent than threats would. _

_ Her silence stretched, she had to give him an answer, even if it was meaningless. "Found it by accident one day, I was worried about the Herbology O. and was pacing, wishing that I could find somewhere to practise potting Mandrakes," Hannah was comfortable with that lie, in actual fact it was more of a small untruth. She had used it to practise Herbology, but that was after using it with the DA. She couldn't tell him about that of course, so she went with the first thing that came to mind. _

_ He quirked an eyebrow. She was quite pretty in a homely girl sort of way. Her dirty blonde hair was spilled out around her cheeks and cascaded to her mid-back. It occurred to him that she'd be even less likely to tell anyone if she was his girlfriend. And he wouldn't mind someone pretty and seemingly more interesting that Pansy Parkinson to distract him. Yes, that would work._

_ They talked to each other quite civilly for the best part of an hour. Hannah was surprised at the boy with a reputation for his nasty ways and Draco was surprised that a Hufflepuff could be interesting. _

You were so innocent back then. Or so I thought. It took me years, even after the Battle, to find out why you'd been crying that day. When Ron mentioned that you'd tried to kill Dumbledore I couldn't align my Draco with this monster. He only said it because Neville brought up how you never seemed to do anything as bad as everyone thought you would have. We'd just seen you at Platform 9 ¾ and I tried not to look. You still make my heart ache. Even after all these years.

_Hannah left the Room of Requirement that day feeling much better than she had going into it. Draco also felt better._

_ A week passed and neither of them tried to talk to the other in front of friends. Hannah couldn't stop thinking about what could have possibly caused the beautiful boy's perfectly constructed veneer to crack like that, even if he didn't know anyone was there. She'd surrendered to thinking of him as beautiful, it was inevitable seeing as the mere thought of him gave her butterflies, reminiscent of the Flutterby bush which had been oblivious to their conversation. A different side to Malfoy had become hers to see in the Room. He had laughed a little with her and seemed to be interested in talking to her. When he'd left for Potions, he seemed genuinely sorry to have to go. _

_ Things had been carrying on as they had always done before the incident in the Room of Requirement. Draco maintained his reputation by being outwardly as abrasive as possible (unless he was speaking to a social 'ally') whilst struggling with the pressure being put on him by the Dark Lord. Hannah kept trying to convince her friends to be more serious as if the DA was not enough. _

_ This lasted until they ran into each other alone in the corridor. It seemed very unlikely that they'd just happen to meet, but it happened. Hannah smiled at the boy-man she was rapidly developing quite the crush on. Draco reflexively smiled back and later tried to convince himself that it was just part of the plan. Get a pretty girlfriend and encourage her to keep his misery secret. He needed to make sure that Snape didn't hear about it, he had been awfully nosey for the past three months. He'd have to move soon, didn't want to risk her forgetting the touching conversation they'd shared. He smirked to himself, still wondering (despite his best efforts) whether or not he'd really meant to smile at her._

_ The next morning an owl arrived for Hannah. She tore open the letter and her eyes immediately sought out the boy at the Slytherin table who was studiously ignoring her. She read the invitation again; he wanted her to skip History of Magic and meet him in the Room of Requirement. He'd been so careful to avoid detection that he'd even used one of the school's owls instead of his distinctive honey-coloured one. Hannah really disapproved of skipping any class but History of Magic would be no use anyway, she'd take in about as much by skipping as she would whilst being there._

Our first arranged meeting. We met and talked for an hour. The Room seemed to fit perfectly, providing comfortable arm chairs to relax and talk in. I can't believe how we just started talking like old friends. There was definitely some flirting going on as well. If only I'd known.

_ Hannah eventually sighed and slipped out for Herbology. This secret-friendship-with-a-Slytherin business was bringing her to the Room for longer and longer each week. She'd missed History of Magic three times already and a number of other lessons. To her great embarrassment, Professor Sprout called a Head of House meeting with her. She couldn't believe that a boy was doing this to her._

_ The next day she broke her resolve to only meet with Draco in her free time. History of Magic looked even less appealing that usual when compared to respite with Draco. They'd come to depend upon one another. Hannah needed Draco because he understood her fears, which seemed weird seeing as he did not share the worry for family, and he needed her because she was possibly the only human being around whom he was totally himself. He couldn't tell her he was struggling to kill the headmaster but she knew something was up. They argued about it. Hannah was no longer afraid of him and only saw him as lovely yet stubborn. She even understood his façade of toughness, translating it like a true Hufflepuff, as loyalty to his family and their reputation. _

_ "Draco, I can tell there's something wrong!" Hannah burst out that day. The circles under his eyes were getting darker and his manner was becoming overly charming as if to compensate._

_ "It's nothing, Hannah! Leave it. Please," he replied. If he asked, she usually would let it go, but not today it seemed._

_ "I can't do this if you're not being honest!"_

_ "Can't do what, Hannah? What exactly are we doing?" He frowned, a touch of the tough Draco becoming evident._

_ "This!" she flushed. "Skipping lessons and meeting, neglecting friends for each other. Maybe growing to like each other that extra little bit..." She truly was red now. It felt surreal. Hannah Abbott and Draco Malfoy? Yet now, it seemed so right. He was lovely to her and around him she felt her self bloom like a Flutterby bust._

_ He smirked. She could have hexed him to oblivion right then. He saw the expression on her normally calm face and did the only thing that made sense at that moment in time. He rose from his chair in one fluid movement and planted his arms either side of her head. Hannah's eyes widened as he blocked her into her chair. He smirked again, she raised an eyebrow and then he kissed her. No qualms about it, just leant in and kissed her on the lips._

Our first kiss. That's one of the hard ones. I do well with some memories but I find others prickle like non-magical nettles. Then there's the ones like this. The ones that make my heart shy away like a Devil's Snare faced with light. I hope you're happy with her, I know I'm not happy without you. I have Neville and the children which is all _lovely__**perfect**__lucky _but, oh God Draco, they aren't you.

_Hannah and Draco now spent most of their spare time together and still the occasional History of Magic. They'd agreed that being questioned about missing lessons wasn't doing anyone any good. Draco would sometimes apologise and excuse himself from meeting her. Hannah understood, he sounded so tense when he did that! She was a bit frustrated though. There was a limit to the Room's capabilities. All she wanted to do was walk around the Great Lake with him in the sunshine, holding hands and just being. He seemed to tense up when she said that, like he was ashamed to be seen with her. Draco thought it might ruin his reputation a little to settle for homely Hannah, even if he did really, really like her. Any other time he would have Malfoy-smirked at the world and stepped out with whoever he please, but now it was different. The Dark Lord was waiting for him to complete his mission and if he was seen fraternising with a girl (particularly one of less pureblood-supremacist background) things could get ugly. And not just for him. He didn't want her hurt, even if she was just his distraction. _

_ Things carried on this was for about a month and Hannah and Draco were as happy as they could be under the circumstances. She, keeping loyal to Draco, hadn't revealed the identity of the boy who'd left her love struck. She admitted to Susan that she thought she might be in love. And Susan understood that her friend would tell her when she was ready. Draco avoided any question of where he'd been and who'd he'd been with. That way the Room was theirs alone for talking and anything else that occurred between them._

_ Things were going swimmingly until Hannah decided to stand up to Draco for once. The sun was beating down and it seemed too glorious a day to be sat inside the castle. She didn't want to be indoors but she couldn't give up her time with Draco, of which she had precious little._

_ "Come on out, Draco," she said, her tone seeming a bit too casual to Draco's ears. "It won't be as bad as you think," she smile-grimaced and voiced the only reason she could think for him being reluctant to be seen with her, "I can't be that hideous or boring can I?" Her voice cracked a little._

_ "Hannah, it's not that!" He pushed his hand through his blonde locks and tried not to focus too much on the glistening of tears that were threatening to liberate themselves from her eyes. "I just...I don't...I can't explain!"._

_ "Do you love me?" she challenged, her voice quivering even more. Draco hated the hope that glowed in her doe-brown eyes. Hannah was poised at the edge of a precipice, either he would pull her back to safety or deny her and she would tumble into the black pit of despair that lay beneath. He couldn't do it. Couldn't risk her life. Couldn't stand endangering her. He couldn't believe that his honest answer could be yes, he would never have dreamed it four months ago, but he really did love her. Kind of inexplicably as he was still hiding behind a veil of secrecy and murder plots._

_ He steeled himself, he wasn't going to explain. Didn't want her comfort. And after all, it had all started to keep her quiet. A pawn in his plan. "I don't understand the question and I'm not going to give you an answer," his voice was cold. Practise had made perfect after all these years. He became his mask._

_ It was the memory of her eyes widening and the deafening silence that fell as she sat down on the floor in a room of comfortable chairs. She didn't scream out or hit him, that would have been better he thought. She just sat there, knees pulled up to her chin and let tears stream down her face, eyelids pressed shut to stopper the intake of images that would stay with her forever. First love, first heartbreak. He whirled around and left the room. He never spoke to her again after that day. Only saw in The Daily Prophet that she'd married the bumbling Longbottom. At least she'd be safe with him._

You were a bastard weren't you? But you see, it still broke my heart. It's taken me so long to realise that I probably meant nothing to you. It doesn't stop the hurt. Doesn't give me a happy ending. I can't pretend it's okay, Draco! But I have to, there's no hope of any other life, I'll have to be happy with this one.

I'm glad you don't come in the pub. It would make it harder than it already is. I hope you have a good life, I guess. Sitting crying isn't helping. However, I think I realise why I fell so hard, Drake. I thought we were all going to die and you were the only one who'd listen to me. Suppose that I thought your secret was a cover for being terrified. I thought we loved like it was forever. Now we have the rest of our lives, but not together.

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**You've spent so much time reading, what's an extra few seconds to review? Even hate it if you want to tell me!**


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